I ALMOST hooked up with a celebrity

I'm a big fan of Jay Brannan. (Quick bio: He was in this awesome NSFW movie called Shortbus several years ago. That was his first taste of fame. Since then, he has amassed a good-sized following online through his youtube music videos. He's a great singer. He's toured the U.S. a few times and is touring in Europe right now.)

Over the summer, he was touring the U.S. again, and he was in Austin on Saturday, July 18. Of course, I went to his show. I brought my roommate along too. Jay Brannan was incredibly great live, and he was funny and down-to-earth. After he sang, he went on over by the table where some people were selling his shirts and CDs to sign autographs and talk with fans and what-have-you.

So I sauntered over. As I was eyeing the merchandise, I got this crazy-fanboy urge to ask Jay Brannan to sign my chest. So I plotted.

I bought one of the (overpriced and kinda ugly) shirts and waited in the short line to talk to Jay Brannan. The dialogue went something like this:

"Hi, my name is Timmy." ::handshake::
"Thanks for coming to the show!"
::random small-talk::
"So I got one of your shirts, and I'd like you to sign it ... but I'd much rather you sign my chest." ::gives Jay Brannan the option::
::laughter:: "Sure."
"So should I lift my shirt up or pull it down?"
::more laughter:: "It's up to you."

So being modest, I pulled my shirt down so I wouldn't flash everyone. As he was signing, Jay mentioned that the autograph probably wouldn't last. I, of course, said I was aware of this and said I was going to eternalize the signature with a picture and post it immediately on facebook. My roommate chimed in and jokingly said that I would tag him in it.

So that was that. My roommate and I left shortly after, and I "modeled" as he took my picture. We went home, and as I said I would, I uploaded the pictures on facebook.

As always, Jay Brannan had a status update after his show thanking everyone for a great show. I commented on that status thanking him for signing my chest (my default picture was a shirtless one of me with the signature). I expected things to just end at that. I mean, I was already on a major fanboy high from getting my chest signed by an awesome musician.

But nope. Jay Brannan FUCKING MESSAGED ME on facebook! I didn't notice until 20 minutes later and responded to it. Then I went to bed because I did not expect him to respond to my response. If only I had stayed online for five more minutes, I could have had a string of messages with him leading to ... well, who knows?!

I told my friends about it and they told me I was an idiot for not realizing Jay Brannan was flirting with me. He never responded to the response I sent the following morning.

(Yes, I have a lot of unread facebook messages. Most of them are from groups or updates.)

I fail at life. :-(


EDIT: To prevent this blog entry from sticking out from my other entries (in that it's more a personal narrative rather than a thought-provoking piece), I should point out that it's noteworthy how Jay Brannan "flirts" with people. When you reach a certain level of fame, how does one even try the relationshippy thing with people? There would be so much information on you already that the whole dating-to-get-to-know-you thing gets (partly) thrown out the window. There's also a chance for great commentary on socializing or something....


Actually related! Jay Brannan's cover of the Cranberries' "Zombie" (Yes, he sounds that good.):