[from my myspace] Sexual Fantasies

[intro]
I used myspace.com blogs for the past few years for my randomly-spaced blogging. Therefore, I am jumpstarting my blog here with most of those blogs, lightly edited.
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Original posting: Sunday, November 18, 2007, 7:09 AM
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I probably shouldn't be writing this blog. I'm myspace friends with most of my cousins, and reading a fellow relative write about sexual topics is probably just extremely awkward ... even the very knowledge that a relative wrote about such a topic could be extremely odd. Oh well. The relatives who might feel awkward are probably conservative anyway, and conservatives are just simply inferior with opinions that don't matter to the progressive world.

First off, I'm going to be all big-headed and assume you have the hots for me if you're reading a blog I wrote ... especially since it's about sexual fantasies. Well, don't get ahead of yourself. I'm not writing about my sexual fantasies at all. Personally, I wouldn't share my fantasies openly, although I won't judge anyone negatively just because they do. I might judge him/her negatively for the reasons whether they do or don't though. I'd only share my fantasies once a good level of trust is established, or a private conversation leads to a point where it is fitting to share. Oh. Also, I should define what I mean by "fantasy" within this rant. I don't just simply mean "fantasy" by elaborate sexual scenes such as a woman wanting to be raped, a couple trying S&M, or role-playing. I mean "fantasy" in the general sense of what one likes sexually ... in other words, what one fantasizes when he/she thinks about anything sexual ... from something as tame as flirting to as wild as bondage sex while skydiving. Anyway, [/end big-headedness] I just wanted to clarify that I'm discussing things at a somewhat general scale.

Hm, maybe I lied. I think I want to throw in a bunch of my opinions on various issues with sex within a relationship (or lack thereof). Sexual fantasies have no place in a bad relationship. If there is a problem with the sex life of a couple (or n-tuple ... I don't want to discriminate against 'couples' with 3 or 4 or more people in them), then exploration into sexual fantasies of each party shouldn't replace the sex life. This will just backfire in the long run because the mental states of each person during the 'fantasy' will slowly steep into the mental/psychological mindsets of each person within the relationship, eventually resulting in one fucked-up relationship (excuse my language).

Fantasy should only be incorporated into a relationship with a healthy sex life. It should be an addition to something. There is nothing wrong with vanilla sex. Vanilla sex is what humans have been doing forever. It's basic and instinctual. Sexual fantasy is cerebral. It's all in the well-developed human mind. Would your dog find it breath-takingly sexy and hot to be tied up and whipped? Would a monkey enjoy being humiliated in front of fellow monkeys? Does it make a difference to mice if they have sex in private or in public? It's all in the mind, conditioned by human society (Wow, if I had the time to criticize human society, where it could have come from, where it has been, where it is going, where it is now, etc ...).

So about those people who only want a sex life where he/she is dominant or submissive or whatever. Yeah, I think that's perverted and messed-up. I don't think it's wrong. I totally support your choice to do whatever the hell you want. It doesn't directly affect me (unless your fantasy somehow involves me ... which might be a little creepy ... or flattering, depends on who you are). A relationship should be about equality and compromise ... which can only exist in a relationship with a healthy, normal sex life ... with the possible addition of some wild (or tame) sexual fantasies.

Okay, what the hell did I just write? I totally didn't write about what I planned on writing. I ought to re-title this rant: "Relationships 101, subtopic: Sex." But I'm not going to do that at all. I'll just mislead everyone. It's more fun.