[from my myspace] Vampire Sex

[intro]
I used myspace.com blogs for the past few years for my randomly-spaced blogging. Therefore, I am jumpstarting my blog here with most of those blogs, lightly edited.
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Original posting: Monday, July 28, 2008, 3:33 AM
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Just the idea of vampire sex is intriguing to me. To clarify, I don't mean roleplay vampire sex or a euphemism for biting/sucking during foreplay/sex. I am referring to actual vampires having sex or sex involving at least one vampire. I should also take you aside and explain that for this dialogue to make any sense, you must throw out reason and logic and just simply assume that vampires exist.

The method of the creation of vampires and the fact that vampires are immortal seems to make the action of sex between vampires superfluous in the first place. Now, there are many different ways for a human to become a vampire based on various legends and mythos from a myriad of different cultures. But the general trend of a vampire becoming a vampire is that a dead or dying human becomes a vampire through sucking his/her own blood back from the vampire, having some sort of creature jump across his/her grave (although this might be about the creation of a zombie ... not entirely sure), or whatever. Therefore, a vampire is essentially dead. But since they function, they are "un"dead. My point here is that the liveness required for the reproduction of humans should no longer be functioning in the body of a vampire. And since the base purpose of sex is to reproduce, vampire sex shouldn't even exist.

Of course, I should probably take you (the audience) aside again and explain shortly why vampire sex is on my mind. I just saw Dark World: Evolution. You know the movie; Kate Beckinsale is in it (she plays a vampire). She has sex with some hybrid vampire/werewolf in it. Anyway, so this sex scene got me to thinking about vampire sex. I've also had conversations about vampire sex in the past--Yes, that's right, plural, more than one. You should not be thinking that I'm weird right now though; instead, you should be questioning what types of people I am associating with in order to even have good-length conversations about vampire sex with.

Anyway, so vampires--female ones in particular--tend to be rather seducing and quite sexy. Voluptuous breasts and such as well. The men tend to have rather nice upper bodies as well. (For this, I refer you to the television series Buffy and also Angel.) In fact, I can't exactly even recall seeing fat vampires in popular culture either. They tend to be slim or muscular and generally attractive. This, of course, brings us to the question of why? Why are vampires sexy? And, the corollary (which is also my original question), why do vampires have sex?

We can, firstly, look at the behavior of vampires. They continue to exist after (human) "death" by suckling at an essential liquid of life: blood. Blood, as we know, is associated with human arousal. So vampires may just be having all the hot--incredibly sexy/hot--sex that they have because they exist on a liquid form of the human sex drive, which as we know is very high. And because they're already dead, they aren't plagued with the diseases associated with blood, so they stay flawlessly hot. So damn fucking hot.

So even though I have stumbled upon sort of an answer to my question, I refuse to believe that is the end of it. Sexy blood coursing through their veins just seems like a cop-out answer to me.

Perhaps vampires really don't have sex, but they are only portrayed to do so for symbolic reasons. Vampires can only go out at night, and since the night tends to represent more fun activities in some cultures (such as clubbing, the "nightlife," parties, etc.), the "fun" life is also associated with vampires. Then it is not much of a stretch to assume that vampires have been shown to have damn hot sex ... not because they need to for the survival of their species but because it's fun and they can do it. It just goes in line with their night living.

Also, the fact that vampires are dead and have dead blood in their body also brings up the question of how they have sex, but I don't think any type of discussion or speculation on this particular topic will ever sufficiently resolve this issue. Only a demonstration will suffice. Mm, yes, only a demonstration ...

Moving on ... well, I could theorize more about why vampires have sex and are also sexy, but since vampires (and zombies too, for that matter) don't exist, I suppose further conjecture is really just moot. I will conclude with this statement that cannot be denied: Vampires are hot.